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I guess the journal app wasn't a waste after all! Okay guys, this is not a usual post for me. I’m going to get all weird and slightly emo on you. And because I am “reading” Gone Girl, I am going to include a quiz at the end. Who are we kidding… I listen to audio books on my commute. It rocks, you should do it.

Here we go:
I am generally not insecure. At this point in my life, the most insecure I get is usually related to vanity and how others perceive me. But In the past it was SO much more. There was a lingering, ‘am I good enough?’ The most insecure time of my life was probably during college. I am going to assume that this is pretty common. You are no longer at home, you are “playing adult,” and you are making grown-up-ish decisions about your life. I guess it makes sense to be insecure as you are literally coming of age.

That being said, I now have a much stronger sense of self and it is quite liberating. I know who I am. I know how cherished I am by God. I feel confirmed, encouraged and loved by most of the people in my life. Honestly, I feel awesome! Maybe too awesome sometimes...

Yet, putting my self in scenarios where I formerly felt insecure causes me to default into an unstable state of mind. My 19 yr old self comes creeping through and it can become debilitating. And I left that girl behind a long time ago! Some of her outfit choices were… let's just say they were questionable.

My question for you is this, why do we let this happen? We can be completely secure adults, who make solid choices and feel stable in who we are. Yet, we get thrown into situations that make us default into who we were a long time ago. Insecurity, or that reaction that makes us feel like we aren't good enough, seeps back to the forefront. We default into someone of the past.

So what is the plan you guys? Do we avoid those situations at all costs? Or do we get strong enough to not default?

QUIZ:
When you are feeling less than awesome, insecure, or not good enough, do you:
A.) Eat your feelings.
B.) Exercise
C.) Pray about it.
D.) Spend time with people who make you feel like a million bucks.
E.) A,C and D
F.) All of the above.

You probably think the answer is F (all of the above). Well, you are wrong. The answer is E. Duh! Exercise is for chumps.

These are just a few of the chicks who make me feel like a million bucks! This was us (and wine) on Monday night.

I bring this up now because I feel like this has happened to me recently and I thought it could be happening for you as well. Is it!? Or am I alone out here in all this crazy?

I’m totally buggin’!

I’m still feeling totally out of material. Because of this, I downloaded a “journal” app for my iPad. You know, to write in daily. I have never been a good diary keeper or journaler. Any honestly, I am glad I don’t have a record of some of the trivial crap I “went through” as a teenager. So embarrassing.

As expected, the journal has one entry… the intro entry. I have had tons of ideas though! I know it! Because I think of things and topics, or see something totally absurd and think to myself, “I should write that down and post about it.” But I am in a meeting, or driving or having an actual human interaction. Not exactly times conducive to busting out an electronic device.

Who do you think I am? Doug Funnie!?

He always journaled. I bet those entries are embarrassing now though. You guys, he liked a girl name Patti Mayonnaise...

All of this pondering and effort to come up with material has made me reflect on the “theme” of my blog. Because really, is it a lifestyle blog? I write about how my mind wanders, I write about pop culture and things I think are funny, silly or “important” to share. THEN when I am lazy, I add posts about my actual life. I add filler posts of weekend activities. Apparently it is the way I give my rambling mind a rest. My thought process is exhausting! It really is. Just read this paragraph 3 times fast and you will understand.

New topic:
The Man Repeller wrote an awesome post about Clueless that I am pissed I didn't think of first.  Because of this, I have been listening to The Cranberries today. My first thought due to the awesomeness of the playlist was, Elton would so approve of this choice. My second thought?... I really hope my future husband likes 90s music.

Currently playing: The Wallflowers

I’m obviously buggin’

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Fog and writers block.

I am currently suffering from writers block. I usually have drafts in my email of random thoughts and ideas. Or I find notes in my phone that easily prompt me to write a post. These past weeks have been a struggle though. Once I get going the text usually flows, as I’m sure it will for this one… about writers block. In many cases it is hard to shut me up. Even when it is about absolutely nothing! I’m sure my real life friends are nodding their heads right now. I have a special talent for talking about things I know nothing about with extreme, yet baseless, passion.

It is foggy and I am lethargic. I am also thinking about buying one of those happy lights from Costco. I don’t have winter depression, but I also don’t think it hurts to make a preemptive strike.

I love fall so much! But the knowledge of the impending season of darkness is daunting. I just need to push it out and enjoy this time. The trees have begun to change! I am so excited to crunch through them in my boots! You know, on my walk from Nordstrom to Pioneer Place.

Walking on this will be boss. 

I am off to Black Butte this weekend! So I’ll be sure to spend some time looking out the window while coming up with some post ideas that you will all like!

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When you look bad enough at the mall…

…the kiosk people don’t hound you to straighten your hair.

I found an old note in my iPhone that said just that. Obviously my experience affected me enough to literally “note it.”

Background to the scenario:
Quite a while ago I went to Washington Square Mall looking like total garbage. That day consisted of a Saturday morning workout, no make-up was involved and we were in a season where any traces of a tan were completely gone. Basically, I looked rather scary. In turn, I was not approached by a single kiosk person. Not even the creepy hand lotion one or Proactiv.

On another note, have you been to the mall lately? Is it just me, or has the idea of the mall drastically lost its luster? Remember the middle school days of loitering in Claire’s or Sam Goody? So awesome.

Yes, the mall is incredibly productive because multiple stores you need to go to are all in the same place. But lately it just sucks! I hate how I feel after I go to the mall. If I am going to spend an obscene amount of money on clothes and cosmetics, I would much prefer to do my shopping in surroundings that I enjoy. The harsh fluorescents of an indoor mall are not my jam.

Don’t get me wrong! I shop at the mall. Usually Pioneer Place though, that way I am able to enjoy the city... as I am forced to walk 2 blocks up to Nordstrom. You know I am always tryna hit up Nords, Gap and H&M in the same shopping trip.

Am I the only one who is over the mall? I can’t help but think of how disappointed Cher Horowitz would be of me.

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Open letter to Christina Aguilera.

Dear Christina,

You have an amazing voice. That is my first statement because your talent is outstanding and I want you to remember it as this letter continues.

Christina, I reflect on the days of "Genie in a Bottle" with fond memories. Time spent making up dances in the cul-de-sac on a hot summer day. Jumping on the trampoline and singing "Come on Over" at the top of my lungs. It was glorious.

Then you decided to be a Latin singer… before blossoming into X-Tina. At this time you also decided that clothes were optional, piercings were key to your look and thought spray tans were probably a good idea. Your songs on Stripped were dynamite, but something happened… were you confused? Trying to find "the real xtina”? I was confused too. But I did have a blast at the Stripped/Justified concert. I do wish you and Justin sang at least one song together though. I know it is weird, but that album reminds me of Christmas. My sister and I listened to that CD non-stop all winter, probably because every song was amazing. Personal fave: "Get mine, Get Yours."

After that, you somehow became linked to Target in my mind. Why is that? Back to Basics, Burlesque, that weird robot album… What!? You have the pipes! SING! That is all we want. I am a fan of you and your voice. I am going to speak for your fan base and tell you that good songs are the only thing we are looking for from you. We don’t need a new persona every few years. Just good pop music that is easy to belt to in the car.

I like you on The Voice. You are a sassy beez. You have a good dynamic with the other judges and it is fun to see you in a normal-ish environment. Although, your boobs are always out. You should tuck those girls in at least once a week... I promise they won't suffocate. Time for a new stylist maybe? I am excited for your new album! I have high hopes for what it may contain.

Remember Mickey Mouse Club? Me too.

Love,
Laura

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What are you looking for?

Apparently women in their 20's are always looking for one of three things: a job, an apartment or a boyfriend.

Maybe we should ask the professionals. Excuse me, Lena? 

Something about this doesn’t settle right. But as I think about my friends who have a steady beau, it does stand true. One had a boyfriend and a job but was actively looking for a new apt. and now that she signed a lease she is looking for a career move. My roommate seems to get a new job every 4-6 months!

If you have all three, does that mean you are simply biding your time and getting antsy for something new? Or are you just ahead of the curve? Remember, this loosely based non-scientific theory only applies to 20-somethings. If you are a 20-something with all of the above, hopefully it is the job or apartment you are shopping for.... but whatevs. I promise not to tell your boyfriend.

So really, what are we looking for? Why are we so anxious about the next thing?

I don't know where I heard or read this, but it wasn't an original idea. Not trying to plagiarize, just don't remember.

I guess I'm somewhat looking for one of those... You can guess which one. What about people who are looking for more than one!? Are they on a lower rung of life at that particular moment? I do recall a dark time where I was looking for all three. It sucked.

Lastly, I would like to encourage everyone to start saying “going steady.” We need to bring it back! It is such a lovely way of talking about ones relationship. It means that things have been steady! No turmoil. Oh, and when you are fighting things need to be “on the rocks.” We don’t simply want to know if you are together or not, inquiring minds need to know the exact status of that steady vs. rocky relationship.

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How to glow like J-Lo.

I got a facial yesterday and now I am glowing like J-Lo.

I recently changed my skin regimen (thanks to my friend and MK consultant Nicole) and have noticed a big difference in my skin and how my makeup goes on. Who knew the importance of good moisturizer? Not just  any moisturizer, but good moisturizer. I use Mary Kay and love it. I also use a Clarisonic and can tell the difference in my skin when I haven’t been using it. Totally worth the investment.

I know we are young, but it is really important to start taking care of your skin early. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to look like a California Raisin.

This post is my version of an after school special. 

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It was cold yesterday.

I gave in. I ordered a PSL and it was glorious! I try to resist as long as possible because for the last 2 years I have really burnt out on them by the end of the season. I plan to be strategic this year. Which feels appropriate considering it is an election year and there will be strategery all over the place!

Pumpkin Spice makes everything nice. 

Did that last comment make it seem like I am plugged into politics!? No? Just SNL? Ha! SNL is different than PSL. Both great, but different.

PS. I know nothing about politics.

I guess I should also mention that it is September 11th. Obviously you already know that, because it says the date in the corner of your computer or on your phone. Also because it is already noon and you don't live under a rock... Or you do, but who am I to judge? Last year I did a post on my experience of 9-11-01. It was a terrifying day for a 14 year old who had never heard the word terrorism before. If only I knew then how it would change our lives forever.

Get your armor.

I hope you started singing Jordan Sparks after reading that title! I do realize that probably a majority of you never understand my obscure pop-culture references. Meh. We carry on.

I guess there is a need to follow-up after my last post. How do I stay confident doing things alone? Glad you asked! Well, it is super shallow.

When I show up to events alone or just need some extra confidence for the day, I try to make sure I am feeling sassy and put together. How do I do this?

Step 1: Lipstick (My summer color is called Love Test)
Step 2: Freshly painted nails

Seriously, if I am wearing lipstick I feel unstoppable. The same goes for freshly painted nails. My outfit feels complete and I feel like I can do anything!


I have been wearing Love Test a lot this summer. Last fall and winter I rocked a berry shade. It of course depends on your skin tone. Go to Sephora and try before you buy!


If it is not a time where I feel like I need extra confidence. Like going to the store or errands or really any time it isn’t a date night… I am just in yoga pants (not that I do yoga. I find yoga super boring). I do things alone dressed scrubby all the time. But if there is insecurity accompanying your alone time, try to be put together and don't forget your armor!... aka lipstick.




How do the rest of you embrace your singledom? Is lipstick one of your weapons too?

My final pieces of advice are to not take yourself so seriously:

"Learn to laugh at yourself more freely. Don't take yourself or your circumstances so seriously. Relax and know that I am God with you. When you desire My will above all else, life becomes much less threatening. Stop trying to monitor My responsibilities--things that are beyond your control. Find freedom in accepting the boundaries of your domain." -Jesus Calling

And spend time with people who build you up! Even if they live far away.

Just hanging out with my peeps.

Happy Labor day weekend friends!

Table for one.

As a single 20-something I do a lot of things alone.

This past weekend I was alone for most of the weekend. Not like in a weird or depressing way, just alone. Not to be confused with lonely.

My friends were busy or out of town, my parents were in Black Butte, my sister was running Hood to Coast. This all added up to me spending the weekend alone.  This is something I have grown accustomed to. Don’t get all depressed for me. I'm not sad about it or anything, I just wanted to share my experience in case anyone is having a similar one.

I used to always have someone with me. I wouldn’t do anything alone. Seriously nothing. During college I went to the grocery store with roommates. I never got a pedicure alone. Even if I was just running to grab a coffee, someone would join the party.

Here is an example of the co-dependence I had in college. These are my friends napping at my house as I got ready for my sorority formal. They were simply there to keep me company as I primped:

Lauren and Marina keeping me company (circa '09)

These days I go it alone more often than not. Part of it is that I don’t live with 4 other girls anymore! Also, I have a full-time job and I am not in a relationship.

And to be honest, I have kind of enjoyed this transition and time in my life. I like going to coffee, contributing to the community crossword and lingering there for a bit to people watch. I like the independence and have learned to embrace the alone time.

I am of course saying these things in a Destiny’s Child ‘Independent Woman’ moment. Call me in a month when I am desperate for a relationship and I’ll eat these words while wallowing on my personal island of loneliness.

I have yet to eat at a sit down restaurant alone. But when I do, I will be sure to let you know. I mean, I have eaten at a restaurant where you order at the counter and say “for here.” But I haven’t done the menu at the table with a cloth tablecloth thing alone.  Do people do that? Or is that reserved for the fancy confident single ladies of Sex and The City and Nicholas Sparks novels?

For now I leave you with this:

Back!... and ready to Insta.

Hello my dear readers. All few of you.

I am back!! It is very exciting to be back. BUT I am far from rested. I have yet to sleep-in or unpack. It is my own fault that I spent my first day and night back from Nicaragua at a wedding and then out until last call with college friends. When some of your favorite friends are in from out of town you take advantage! In bed by 3am with some Taco Bell? Welcome home from Nicaragua! Talk about a crash course through culture shock.

My caffeine consumption has sky rocketed this week. On another note, I have recently gotten some flack for never posting on Instagram. Rude.

Honestly, my life is not glamorous enough to post on Instagram. I drink regular coffee without pretty foam, I attempt to look good for work… def not worthy of a selfie pic. and I eat a lot of hard-boiled eggs and carrots. Do you really want pictures of that? I didn’t think so.

Anywho, I decided to prove what you aren’t missing! Ha! Below you will find coffee from a Keurig, light pink nails/ hands with dry skin and an emo selfie (ps. I didn’t shower today). Take that!

This was my pathetic attempt at a blog post. Please bear with me. I am excited to dive back into the blog world and (once rested) become a contributing member of society again.

Enjoy this outrageous sunshine PDX peeps!

My weekend plans: lay in the sun.

USA! USA! Going for the gold.

I LOVE THE OLYMPICS!! Well, I love the Summer Olympics. We all know that the Winter Olympics is just the equivalent of a less popular, slightly uglier step-sibling.

In all seriousness, I adore the splendor and pageantry of the Olympics. I was a little worried this year because I thought I would be in Nicaragua and miss the gymnastics. BUT I am only going to miss the lame stuff (like track). I will get to see the gymnastics, which is the most important part! Duh. I also really like the swimming. Particularly men’s swimming. Especially the relays. Why you ask? Well, lots of attractive men all in one race? I’ll take it! Can we talk about how good looking Ryan Lochte is? Then can we discuss how badly he dresses and how lame his grill is? If only he had a great NW girl in his life…

History lesson: I quit competitive gymnastics when I was a sophomore in high school. Not to mention, I am 5’8”… not exactly gymnastics conducive. Let’s just say, bars was NOT my strongest event. I was really not a good gymnast, but I loved it (mainly floor and beam), had a blast and made great friends. I wouldn’t trade those years in the gym for anything. Thinking about it now, I specifically wouldn’t trade the summers. We would spend 4 hours together at practice, followed up by 4 more hours together playing and laying at the pool. When you group both hard work and fun together, especially at a young age, the rewards are invaluable. Those summers contain some of my fondest memories.

Enough about me and my non-good at gymnastics past, back to the Olympics:

Let’s note the level of gymnastics these girls are doing. Height and skills that I can’t even comprehend! I think standing back-tucks are hard (I’m tall. Give me a break). How about a perfect standing full on beam? Yeah. Beam. And that isn’t even near the most difficult skills we are seeing.

Gabby Jo is my mom's favorite. Mostly because her middle name is Jo. Priorities. 

I could talk gymnastics all day, but instead how about a more universal topic? Hair.

One thing you are allowed to trash is gymnastics hair. When we were kids we were not allowed to compete with messy buns. (Think late 90s/ early 00s when the messy bun was in the height of popularity). We of course fought back, but I will say, my ability to make a good slicked back ponytail came in handy when I was a cheerleader. Sometimes I even see lingering signs of “good hair ladies” coming through as a cheer coach. This was a blanket comment that we heard growing up from our gymnastics coaches.

Go ahead and make fun of the clips and the glitter. But it is something that has been around for a long time. And to tell you the truth, I would be a little bit disappointed to see it go. Final note: Marta Karolyi should take a call from the head coach of Mac Gymnastics. Meg could teach her a thing or two about encouraging her athletes to have “good hair.”

PS. You have no idea how obsessed my sister and I were with the magnificent seven. It was ridiculousness. I hope we will get to be equally obsessed with this team of five! 

I loved Dominique Dawes and hated Kerri Strug. I also LOVED Shannon Miller's bangs...and copied them. I was a special child.  

Alright friends, that is all from me for today. What is your favorite Olympic event? 

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Why do I write?

What a question. 

I write because it makes me feel heard. Even if it is just Microsoft Word and God who are hearing me. Yes, I just referenced Microsoft Word as a person. Get over it.

I write because it is a release. When I feel overwhelmed, twirly or crazy, I can write it out and let it go.

I write because when I write instead of just talking I can organize my thoughts successfully. I don’t need to repeat myself over and over again to hear myself. I can just reference what I wrote.

I write because it cures boredom. When I am bored I will play on Google images, read some articles, or scroll through the Twitters of comedy writers. Believe it or not, those things inspire me to write… actually, I guess it is pretty easy to believe.

I write because it is a better habit than snacking. Also, less fattening.

I write because I don’t have a romantic relationship to fill my evenings. No fun dates for me! Instead I will watch an old episode of some TV show and write. Oh the glamorous life!

I write because it is a better option than looking at Facebook. I have gotten to the point where I could care less about people’s Facebook pages. Honestly, it is just stupid. Take it from me; my Facebook has been put together intentionally. That is how I want you to perceive me. It isn’t reality. If I was going to show you reality, my profile picture would be me on the couch in sweats with day old makeup eating chips and hummus.

I write because it is fun. Sometimes my ridiculousness surprises me. I don’t care if you think I’m funny or not. If you don’t, don’t read it! I didn’t want your page views anyway. (That’s not true. Don’t leave me! I promise to try and be a better writer.)

I write because it is quick. Honestly, the faster I write the better my writing is. It is when I over think it or try too hard that my writing sucks.

I write because even though my grammar isn’t great, I think it is the content that counts. And my content is incredibly deep and thoughtful. Not.

Lastly, I write because you are reading this right now. Maybe you are on the toilet reading this on your phone. Maybe you are bored at work. But either way, thanks for taking time out of your day to fill your mind with the trash that I post! You are a star!

Do you guys remember that Lindsay Lohan/ Tyra Banks movie where Tyra was a Barbie who came to life and they sang a song about being a star!? I do. Hahahahaha! Enjoy!

The mystery and wonder of Target.

How is it possible that if you walk into Target with ONE THING on your list, you end up spending at least $50? Seriously. It is absolutely insane. 

Add jeans, flats, a bun and some crazy eyes to this photo... and that is me!

This is how my mind works whilst perusing the aisles:
- I just need face wash and paper towels.
- Oh, but look my lotion in a new smell… hmm. Maybe I should try it.
- And I probably need some more sunscreen.
- Ohhh new Essie colors! I should probably get this corally orange one that I basically already have 3 of.
- Pink glitter polish! I already have silver glitter and gold glitter, and multi glitter polish…. But I should probably have pink too.
- Oh good. I need some food. I am so glad Target has groceries. I just need a few yogurts.
- I should probably get these cookies though
- … Aaaand maybe that can of frosting to go with them.
- STRING CHEESE!!!!! Okay. That is all I need.
- I’ll just grab these sandwich bags in-case we are running low.
- Maybe I will pop over to the home section really quick. No. Don’t do it. Bad.
- Okay, I’ll just browse these sale DVDs by the checkout. Dumb and dumber!? Oh, no that is Dumb and Dumberer. No way. Ugh and Blue Crush 2? What is wrong with Target. Who would buy that?
- Ah-Ha! Original Sandlot. Perf. Only $5. Yes!

I have some issues as a consumer. Clearly! I just though I would share what my normal Target experience is like. Just in case any of you are similar... you are not alone. Or maybe I am alone here…

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McDonalds of the Soul.

I just watched Jim Gaffigan’s new(ish) stand up, Mr. Universe. I recommend it. it’s on Netflix insta. Do it.

One of his 'bits' is about people who claim that they NEVER eat McDonalds. He mentions that we all fill the trashy void in our lives with other types of “McDonalds.” Many of us are so pretentious that we turn-up our noses at the mention of fast food in general. But be real, you have all been to Taco Bell (or the equivalent) at 2am. Is it really any different?

Then there are the other types of trashy that we indulge in, yet we still claim to be better than a sober McDonalds goer. These are the things that are really just the McDonalds of the soul. Tabloid magazines, celebrity gossip, really ANY reality TV. (Ahem, Real Housewives or Kardashian’s anyone?)

Your McDonalds is the way you inadvertently highlight the fact that for a few moments here and there, you simply need to give up on life.

No. I do not go to McDonalds, but I have my own trashy tendencies.

My McDonalds:
- Tabloid magazines and gossip blogs
- Reality TV
- Fake online shopping (adding things to my shopping bag to make me feel like I am shopping.)
- My (not so) secret obsession with ABC Family sitcoms.
- Buying a big wedge of fancy fatty cheese and eating the entire thing in one sitting.

What is your McDonalds? Or is it actually McDonalds!? So you love yourself a Big Mac every once in a while, at least you didn’t order a Double Down from KFC…

We all need to give up on life and indulge every once in a while. No judgment here.

"Just some old guy."

Last weekend I went to Chez Jose with my sister on Saturday night. It was delish as always. Amazing warm salsa etc. Then something disturbing happened. Don’t worry; it had nothing to do with Chez Jose or the food. They are still in my top 3 restaurants.

As Lindsey and I were sitting there chatting, sipping our margs, chomping on fresh tortilla chips and salsa…

I interrupted her: “Dude! Oh, never mind. I though I saw Nate Nathanson but it was just some old guy who looks like him.” (Names have been changed. Obviously.)

My sister then continued talking…

Until I interrupted her again: “Crap! Oh my gosh it IS him! No way. No freaking way. We are old enough to mistake someone we knew in high school for an 'old guy.' This just got weird.”

Lindsey: “Sick. Apparently we are old.”

We are at the point in our lives that we may not recognize people from high school anymore. I literally haven’t seen that guy in 10 years. The worst part about this particular scenario is that I thought he looked old. I am absolutely sure he doesn’t look old, but he doesn’t look 17 anymore either (which is probably a good thing).

The weird truth is that we have memories of what people from different phases of our lives look like. Yet, after so much time passing we may not recognize who they are now.

You would think Facebook would remedy this for us… apparently not.

Why don’t we do a Then and Now? Cameron, don’t be mad at me for this.

2006 VS 2012

Only a 6 year difference and we look so much wiser. 

Am I the only one this has happened to? Please say no.

Did you miss me? And an editorial letter to TLC.

Did you miss me? I know you might not know me in real life. And that I wasn't actually gone from my blog… But still. Did you?

I just got back from a fab trip! I will do a real post about it before long. But I first wanted to write about travel. Well, a show about travel.

There is a new TLC show called On The Fly. It highlights how crazy people/ travelers are and how perfect the airlines are. I am pretty sure the point of this show is to make the travelers look like the enemies and the airlines look better… because we all know how annoying and stupid airlines are in real life. It is an attempt to boost their image. Pretty smart PR, but it doesn’t really work.

Airport personnel are supposed to be the hero in this “reality show.” You know, by continuing to smile as people get pissed that their flight was delayed. What they don’t show is people being groped by security, warranted reactions to unexpected charges, someone digging through their bag like a deranged animal at the check-in desk to try and make it lighter (in order to avoid another $50 fee).

The show is really beyond ridiculous. We have all had difficult travel experiences before… therefore this show is not entertaining! All it does is bring back damaging memories of frustrating experiences with airlines. Nice try On The Fly. You aren’t fooling us!
____________

Dear TLC,

The airlines will never be the hero. If they stop charging us for every little thing, maybe they will make it on to the list of things we are indifferent about.  But until then, they stay on our hit-list. Crap, I can’t say hit-list in regard to airlines. Um… I mean... list of people we don't like that much (in a non-terrorist way). Don’t call TSA on me.

You should probably just cancel On The Fly. It is stupid and we will never like it. Also, play more Say Yes to The Dress and less Cake Boss. Thanks.

Sincerely, Laura
_____________

Here is a sneak peek of our trip. It is the only picture that was on Facebook. I haven’t quite gotten around to uploading my photos.

Living in the in-between.

I apologize in advance for the non-funny that is this post.

Lately I have had some overwhelming conversations with myself, with friends and with God. If I took a moment to listen to what God has to say back to me maybe they wouldn’t be that way… alas, I am a blabberer… even in prayer.

I have been recently been plagued by the stagnant state of my life. I know I am where I need to be, I am just used to living with the “next thing” in sight. Throughout my life there has always been something next, whether it was an impending graduation, getting a new job, moving out etc. Now I am living. This is life and I am living it! Don’t get me wrong, I am happy! It is just weird. Some of my friends had grad school next and are in that, with graduations and careers to look forward to. Currently some of my friends are changing jobs, moving cities, studying for the GRE, or are in relationships that will turn into a marriage within the next couple of years. It just makes me feel… stagnant.

Stagnant is the only word I can think of to describe how I feel. I know I am doing important things in my life and that I am right where God wants me. It is just a different state than I have ever been in before. There has always been a life-moving-something ahead. I am not looking for answers really, just more so wanted to share my experience right now. Just in case any of you 20-somethings are going through the same life evolution (and evaluation) that I am. You are not alone!

I can’t wait to see what is in store for my future! Maybe that is my problem. I just need some patience! Deep breaths… in the mean time, let’s get some fro-yo.

Now let’s think about the other kind of Sirius:

Sirius Black

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Congrats! You win a participation award.

Hi friends. It is time for me to talk about the participation award. I totally hate them. But do you want to know who hates them more? My mother. She will rant about how stupid the idea of a participation award is. I have always wondered why she feels this way, but now as an “adult” I think I know where she is coming from.

If we are trained since childhood that if we try hard (or really just show up) we get a trophy or ribbon, what is going to happen to us as adults?

I try hard at my job.
Does that mean I am going to be super rich? No. But they should probably give me extra money for showing up. Someone else got the promotion I was up for? Where is the freaking consolation prize? Not even a boom box or pair of rollerblades? Damn you Legends of the Hidden Temple.

I “put myself out there.”
So my good friend is engaged. I’m not, but I actively make myself available to potential dates. I have had long term relationships before. They just happened to not work out. Do I get a participation diamond ring? I partook in the love thing… where is my jewelry?! Did I miss the party at Round Table Pizza when they passed them out?

I have come to loathe the idea of the participation award as much as my mom. We all participate in life as much as the next person; it just isn’t our time to come out on top… So let’s wait and see what the future holds.

It has taken me 25 years to accept this. Therefore, I think we should start these lessons earlier in life. When I have kids, I am going to hide their soccer trophies.

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Write a book? Title ideas: Forever Ridiculous. Oregonian Diaries.

I think in my life I want to write a book. Please do not hold me accountable for this. This future book may not be very good, but I think it would be really fun.

Again, my fab co-worker Nicole is a key encourager when it comes to this kind of stuff. I regularly interrupt her work day to say things like, “Hey, I know you are working but this is super important. I think I want to write a book. Also, I love the mascara I am using.” I know guys, I am a ridiculous. BUT when I did bring up the book thing she was totally on board. Bouncing ideas back and forth with me etc... to the point that I decided this was something I could do.

This isn’t a real thing yet, I haven’t started writing it or anything. Who knows if I even will! I just think it would be super tight if I wrote an awesome slash hilarious book that somehow gets published and I get to promote it on The Today Show (What up Matt Lauer!? I am from Oregon just like Ann Curry).

"Up next on Today: Oregon Author dominates New York Times best seller list for the 7th week straight." 

Pipe dreams people. Pipe dreams. I do have this picture of what it would mean to write a book. Sitting at my laptop with notes and research gathered around me, interrupting moments of brilliance to take a sip of coffee.

Okay, those are all of my thoughts on this subject for now. If I do decide to write a book, you all will be the first to know!

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