Golden Globes: observations and favorites.

Did you all watch the Golden Globes last night!? It is by far my favorite of the awards shows. I wrote why last year. I am not all knowing when it comes to fashion or anything, but I love the red carpet shows just as much as the broadcast!

What did you guys think of Tina Fey and Amy Poehler? I thought they were fantastically funny, but not nearly enough air time! I was kind of mad that they weren't given more opportunities to bring the hilarity. They had Libby and me LLOLing (Literally laughing out loud. As we all know, LOL has lost all meaning at this point).

First I would like to show you a few things I observed during the broadcast and while reviewing pictures of the Red Carpet.

First let’s take a look at the publicist who REALLY didn't like Jessica Chastain’s dress. It wasn't my fave either… but I think I would have tried a little harder to keep a straight face.

And here we have JLO. She was going all Britney at the 2000 VMAs with this one.

It’s Yosemite Sam! Oh wait… nope, just Bill Murray.

Sienna Miller really misses shopping at Limited Too. To get her fix she picked this dress…

Okay, enough of that. My favorites were Alba and KHud. Their picks could not be more different from each other, yet both are unbelievably glamorous. Plus these dresses seem to suit each of their personalities well. Am I crazy for thinking that?

That is all I have for today. This weekend was so awesome! Cheer season started, awards season started AND JT released his first song since 2006! Booya! Let's note that in the fall of 2006 (sophomore year of college) I was dancing to Sexy Back in the dorms. Obviously because we had all gotten back to campus... AKA brought sexy back. Kind of embarrassing and awesome at the same time. 

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Things I am not good at: Being Outdoorsy

I am from Oregon and I can pretend that I love long hikes and camping… but I don’t. [Insert gasp here]

I like camp fires and the fun camping scenario, especially if there is a body of water and an acoustic guitar nearby, but I don’t really consider camping relaxing. Not because of the situation once you are out there, but because of the amount of planning that goes into electively sleeping on the ground and constantly having dirty feet. Just think about the food planning! Ugh.

It was fun as kids when we weren't saving up vacation time and our parents did all the prep. Or even in college when two days worth of PB&Js would suffice. But now, my free time is limited and I would rather go to a cabin somewhere (BBR) and enjoy the outdoors that way. Sure, I will hike the Butte or something, but get me back home where I can shower and sleep in a bed.

Camping at DMB in 2008 and the Rogue in 2009:
(I consider these the last times I camped because the Antone is SO amazing. Therefore, it doesn't really count.)

Those stupid propane stoves. Clearly not working. 

Sleeping beauties... not. 

On the Rogue River. I can't believe I am touching my foot in this picture. 

Oh my gosh! Remember when I camped in Nicaragua!? Hahaha. During rainy season... sheesh. That one totally counts.

So that is the camping thing. Too much work and dirt to waste vacay time on.

Reality time, I am not good at being outdoorsy at home either! Portland is a wonderful city with mountains and rivers and lakes and beaches only an hour away. Yet, I would rather meet you at late happy hour than join you on your “night hike” (whatever that is). Seriously, people in my life go on night hikes.

So while you hike the south sister, I’ll be at Sisters Coffee Company with a yummy bev and good book (j/k I’ll be using their free wi-fi).  And while you “discover a trail in the gorge,” I’ll be walking along the East Bank and enjoying the view of our lovely city.

I mean, I’ll hike Multnomah Falls! I guess I prefer organized hiking…Hiking Black Butte, hiking at Multnomah Falls. And it seems that the part I dread most about camping is the amount of planning and effort that goes into being voluntarily dirty. Hmmmm.

In conclusion, I am not good at being an outdoorsy NW girl. Maybe I would be better at it if I had a personal assistant.

Woohoos and Workouts.

There is a lady in my favorite exercise class who just “woohoos” the whole time. She is the life of the class! I love having her there, but she basically just stands there and yells or shouts out song lyrics (Filthy song lyrics that she probably doesn’t know the meaning of btw). AND she usually leaves class at least twice. I always figured this is due to having children and that there is a need to use the restroom from all the jumping. Reasonable right? Well, this past weekend my sister noted that she wasn’t even really moving. Just standing there, yelling and leaving multiple times. Hmmm.

This lady plays an integral role for those of us who do not have the extra lung power to bust out the high-volume woo-hooing, but why does she waste that big chunk of her morning? Just so she can say she went to the gym? If just showing up counts, then I am going to start spending my time in the steam room and call it working out.  Better yet, I’ll just nap during yoga and tell the instructor that I am meditating in Savasana.

Please enjoy this instructional video on Savasana (aka corpse pose):

Namaste.

The West-Kardashian Baby

… or Kardashian-West? I think that might be a fight.

The year: 2022 (Age 9)
Setting: School Science Fair

Teacher: And this year’s All School Science Fair winner is... Maxwell Drew Johnson!

Kanye: Yo Maxi, Imma let you finish, but my kid had one of the best potato clocks of all time.

The year: 2029 (Age 16)
Setting: At home rummaging through old home movies.

Kimye spawn: Mom, where are my childhood soccer videos? Wait… what is this? What is a VHS and who is Ray-J?"

I hate that this unborn child is already dealing with tabloid scrutiny. Just because his/her parents are ego-maniacs does not mean that the child will be. BUT we are doing ourselves a disservice if we don’t throw out a few obvious jokes. Right!?


In my personal life: I had an AMAZING holiday break. Very fun, very needed, too much food etc. Is it just me or was getting back into the routine of regular life a bit painful? Wednesday was like a slow death, but now I seem to be embracing the predictable. How are you all doing? If you aren't doing great, just remember that tomorrow is Friday! PTL for short weeks!

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A Kiss at Midnight

I hope you all had lovely Christmases. Mine was awesome! Relaxing to the max.

This post is not about Christmas though, it is about New Years! Well… not New Year’s really, but the kissing thing that goes along with it.

Personally, I would rather have someone to kiss at noon on New Year’s Day than a one-time kiss at midnight. I also know that for many folks out there this option is not reality.

New Year’s Eve is a time to celebrate the passing of one year and the welcoming of a new. Why then is a kiss part of the equation? Is it because we are ceremonially kissing the previous year goodbye? Or is it because we are kissing the one who we want to begin the New Year with? It is a fact that 85% of NYE dates are not planning on ending that same year together (Psych, I made that statistic up, but it is probably close!). So why the pressure? Why the stock on having someone to kiss? Doesn't the desperation involved slightly make it lose its meaning? I would say so.

Don’t get me wrong, I love the NYE glitter, champy and fun. But over the years I have probably only had one or two NYE nights that got close to the hype surrounding them. And one of them was probably the millennium. The fact that Y2K didn't happen should keep NYE ‘99 at the top of all of our lists. Also, do you remember Will Smith’s album Willenium? Yeah, Will 2 K forevs.

So do not feel bad if you don’t have a midnight kiss lined up. I’m sure there will be a stranger waiting in the wings. And who knows, maybe they are your soul mate!? But think twice and ask about their bill of health before you go snogging a possibly herpes ridden stranger. That meaningless midnight smooch might leave you with more than a hangover the next day… It might leave you wondering if you should hit up the free clinic.

Or consider having a NYE change of perspective as I have. Because wouldn't you rather have someone to kiss at noon on New Year’s Day and the days following? I know I would.

Happy almost 2013!

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Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas from 1989! If only we were still this cute.

It is Christmas, therefore I will not be putting effort into a post. Duh. Instead, I thought I would share a Christmas card my mother sent out when we were children. Obviously pre "dark years" (middle school).

Enjoy some time with your loved ones! I know I will. Merry Christmas to you all!

Text that GIF.

I have some new fun for you all! The day? Saturday. The activity? Texting GIFs. The result? non-stop hilarity via text. And the fun hasn't stopped since.

Trying to get Marina to come over after discussing her need to do laundry at my apt:

Mar’s text:

“This is what happens when I think about leaving my couch.”

My response to her attitude:

I received this text from Libby (mid movie) on Sunday night:

“How I feel when Laura makes us watch ABC Family Christmas movies.” 

Then there are some reaction GIFs that have been used in multiple scenarios. They work best in gossipy conversations. Hey, at least I'm honest!

I really recommend this form of communication. It makes everything more exciting!

PS. This is how Marina feels about you not wanting to use GIFs in your texts.

“Are you effing kidding me?”